Lindsay Lohan reportedly gave her mother Dina the Mother’s Day gift of a closet makeover (no, her mum is not gay) to sort out her parent’s enormous volcano of clothes waiting to erupt on some unfortunate visitor to her bedroom.

Apparently the celebrity organiser, Linda Koopersmith spent seven DAYS – not hours! – organising Dina’s clothes into some sort of structure, with labelled drawers (bet you could do it much cheaper with a Dymolabel).

Anyway, Dina is a Virgo, who are usually known for being neat and organised. Her birthday on 15 September 1962 reveals that on her 47th birthday in 2009, transiting Saturn (responsibility) in Virgo (precision) opposed Uranus (freedom) in Pisces (escapism). This is a tough aspect which will dog her until September 2010. She has already come under fire for being irresponsible, most notably for letting 16-year-old daughter Ali into clubs, and not insisting Lindsay complete rehab therapy, let alone stop drinking yada yada.

Like mother, like daugher, Lindsay is a famous hoarder herself and she’s pretty used to people pawing through her dirty laundry as well.

Lindsay is a Cancer and they’re well-known for being hugely sentimental, unable to throw anything away, attaching emotional significance to their possessions. Owning things in Cancer Land = security therefore decluttering can mean = insecurity! On top of this she has Moon (needs) in Taurus (money, possessions) which increases her tenacious, hoarding style plus a glamourous, look-at-moi Venus (beauty) in Leo (entertainment) which pressures her to look on-trend for the paparazzi.

One of the strongest aspects in Lindsay’s chart is Sun opposite Neptune. The Sun rules your self and your identity while Neptune rules, among other things, glamour, cinema and photography, but also delusions, illusions, escapism and addictions of all kinds.

Lindsay has has a highly publicised battle with alcohol and drugs and it would also seem, with the mall. Shopping is really an escape for her.

If only someone could help her sort her her own mess…

Aries will be celebrating their birthdays between 20 March and 20 April this year but the best date for them to host their own Festival of Me is Wednesday 14 April or Sunday 18 April.

The 14th is the New Moon in Aries which is traditionally considered the time to make a fresh start. If you want to get your haircut, have your nails done, make up and buy some beautiful new clothes, there’s no better day! Then you can enjoy having everyone fuss over you afterwards.

The other best day this month for a party (it’s a bit light on – sign up for the free monthly horoscope newsletter to find out more) is Sunday 18 April. Today has a gorgeous Sun in Aries sextile Neptune in Aquarius aspect. It’s perfect for wining, dining and dancing with friends. The previous day (the 17th) has a wonderful Venus in Taurus sextile Jupiter in Pisces when everyone feels bountiful, luxurious and ready to splurge AND it’s the last day before Mercury turns retrograde for the next three weeks, requiring you to return to the store for a refund or exchange. So hopefully they buy your present then…

If you can add a little magic to their birthday, you make your favourite Pisces so much happier.

Pisces are the agony aunts of the zodiac who people come to with their problems, wanting a sympathetic ear, a hug and a little wallow of self-pity. Unlike say, Capricorns or Scorpios who’ll gruffly tell you to snap out of it, Pisces really want to help.

When they’re at their best, they’re selfless, kind, compassionate, sensitive and supportive. To BE at their best, they need support in return, which means remembering their birthday.

You can make their birthday a wonderful one by making an effort. Since Pisces rules the feet, they are especially fond of shoes. Teenage and twenty-something Pisces boys will always appreciate another pair of cool runners. Pisces women usually have an enormous shoe collection so a shoe bag would make a thoughtful modest gift. Splashing out? Give them a gift certificate for beautiful shoes - and you get extra brownie points if they’re for handmade and/or customised shoes.

You can also give them magic! They love tinkly windchimes, terrariums, crystal ornaments that refract the light into a thousand little rainbows and velvet throws which are vaguely Stevie Nicks. Most New Age shops have a “Oh, wow!” item that’s sure to intrigue them.

If they’ve got the right lifestyle, you could melt a Pisces heart by giving them a little puppy or kitten – bonus points if you go out to the local animal shelter to go and save one. If they live in an apartment, you could give them a pair of goldfish and decorate the bowl with a castle, treasure chest, diver and plants. Very calming (that’s why dentists have aquariums in their waiting rooms).

Neptune, which rules Pisces, rules glamour and they can’t have enough of it. Take them away from their ordinary humdrum existence with items which suggest an otherworldly, special glittering place. It could be as fun as a silk palm tree for them to pretend they’re in the tropics or a beautiful artwork which takes their breath away. If they were in a movie, what character would they play? Ask them. If they haven’t had it done yet, treat to them to a feng shui consultation.

Music simply transports them. A guitar could thrill a male Pisces while the girls might be happy to spend hours browsing through CDs thanks to a gift card. Again, you can’t go wrong with an iTunes card.

Most of them just lurrrve getting their fortunes done, too. You could delight them no end by paying for them to enjoy a reading with a clairvoyant, psychic, numerologist, astrologer or tarot card reader. Many Pisces might like a gift voucher to their favourite esoteric bookshop.

Some of them have weak constitutions and like their polar opposites, Virgo, can be inclined to get a little too ill a little too often. Give them a boost with a consultation with a homeopath. If you don’t want to go that far, a massage will do. Flush with cash? Treat them to a swanky health retreat for their birthday.

Those Pisces who are not of a materialistic bent will appreciate you giving money to their favourite charity on their behalf. Make sure you include the receipt in their card.

If one of your Christmas “gifts” to your lover this year is a proposal, you couldn’t go past Wednesday 16 or Thursday 17 December!

Wednesday 16 December features both Sun in Sagittarius sextile Neptune in Aquarius and a New Moon in Sagittarius. Sagittarius rules adventure and exploration (what is more of an adventure in life than getting engaged?) while Aquarius is all about friendship and group activities (just like those pre-wedding parties you’ll have to arrange). Neptune rules compassion, kindness and selflessless. Since a New Moon is a new beginning, it is an auspicious time to become engaged!

Thursday 17 December features Venus in Sagittarius trine Mars in Leo. Venus rules love and relationships while Mars is all about action and sex drive. If your heart thumps for someone and you want to make it official, it’s a beautiful date for ever-lasting romance!

A date while Venus is in Sagittarius responds very well to outdoors action – why not go on an evening picnic, a twlight stroll on the beach, snuggle up watching a movie at Moonlight Cinema (Leo does rule entertainment) or if you’re feeling festive, go to a Christmas night market and have fun kissing under the mistletoe!

And if you’re still shopping for Christmas gifts, do it on 17 December. The Moon is in Capricorn which is not known for its romantic nature, but more for its pragmatism. You may find something that your partner will love – and find it at a reduced rate, too.

If you’re unattached and reading this, join in the fun somewhere on 17 December to mingle with other singles. You might see some fireworks way before New Year’s Eve…

Oh boy! I would love to know what is going on with this family!

An 11-year-old in Britain has been reported as the country’s most spoilt child, receiving approximately $300,000 in clothes and gifts (we’re talking about $2,300 a month, EVERY month, people) since she was born.

Her mother Alison MacKay, who must be the world’s best paid hairdresser, apparently started this insane and revolting spending spree since Brogan was born, lavishing her with Gucci loafers before the toddler could walk, giving her the latest Jimmy Choo shoes, Prada, Louis Vuitton and Chanel handbags, as well as a $1,100 flatscreen TV, iPhone and everything else you could poke a maxed-out credit card at.

Alison apparently “can’t go into a shop without buying Brogan something….She’s always been obsessed with her looks and I’m happy to work extra hours to buy her new clothes.”

Her dad is no better. According to Alison, Stephen “doesn’t mind. He just says, ‘Oh, let her have it.’ We have no savings but he believes in living for the day.”

What a psychological smorgasbord for a future counsellor to pick over.

While I don’t have any of their birth charts, Brogan is currently 11 years old. Allowing for this pre-teen to have just turned 11, or about to turn 12, she was born sometime between August 1997 and July 1998. Throughout this year-long period, Saturn was in Aries (between 20 to 29 degrees). Saturn rules what you’re insecure about, feel guilty about, get criticised for and have lessons in which to learn. Aries rules the physical body and is well-known for its overly healthy ego. When Saturn is in Aries, it can make for a person who is hugely insecure about their looks, yet who is also has guilt about feeling that it is ”all about them”. Brogan is going to be in for some pain if she thinks handbags and shoes can make her feel good about herself.

Her parents seem to be lacking that vital body part: a spine. Alison seems to have Neptune (glamour, illusion, addiction) in overdrive, buying her young daughter endless gifts. She “cannot go into a shop without buying Brogan something”. She really needs help! Her Dad is playing Good-Time Dad, which can often be an overly generous, irresponsible Jupiter at large. Jupiter hates responsibility and certainly doesn’t like the idea of savings.

As Pluto works his inexorable way through Capricorn (he’ll be there til 2024), we’ll all be taking much greater financial responsibility for ourselves. Pluto rules resources (anything from mineral to human) and you have to make the most of what you’ve got.  I think that when Brogan’s Saturn in Aries squares Pluto in Capricorn, (from about 2017 onwards), if she or her parents haven’t addressed this, there could be some real tears to be shed.

Even though July is apparently the least popular month for getting engaged, there are two beautiful dates this month for proposing to your beloved.

On Sunday 26 July, the Moon (feelings, emotions) enters Libra (the sign of relationships and marriage). All that day and the next she is accompanied by the lovely planetary energies of Venus (the Goddess of Love) in Gemini (communication) trining Jupiter (luck, abundance, generosity and joy) in Aquarius (friends and group activities). These beautiful aspects make it easy to communicate how much you love each other and enjoy the friendship that underlines your relationship. So if you want to get engaged, this is one of the loveliest aspects on which to propose (as the answer will surely be yes)!

On Monday 27 July, Venus then trines Neptune (glamour, compassion, sweetness, soul connections) also in Aquarius. Neptune aspects make it easy to make you feel like you met your soulmate. If you somehow didn’t get around to getting engaged on Sunday, proposing on the Monday or even into Tuesday lunchtime is equally star-blessed.

If you’re already married you can take this time to really enjoy connecting all over again with your partner (maybe renew your vows?), while singles could be delighted to discover that someone who they’ve thought of as “just a friend” has been right for them all along.

Still too early to propose? Check out these romantic dates for the rest of 2009.

If you enjoy spending at least some of your weekend shopping for gifts, this weekend is probably not the best for it.

It features a New Moon in Taurus, which in itself is OK – Taureans love their possessions – but which is going to get activated by the Mercury square Neptune aspect (in force until Sunday morning), and then be followed up by a crushingly brutal Mars square Pluto combination lasting until early Monday.

So what this points to is a “need” (the Moon is what you need) around money, finances, posessions etc. You may “need” to go shopping for a birthday gift. 

Mercury (thoughts, communication) squares Neptune (glamour, illusion, escapism) suggests that you could be severely deluded if you think that antique in the market stall is real, the bag on eBay is a genuine Prada, the gizmo actually does what it suggests etc. Lies, fantasies, wishful thinking, confusion are all typical of a Saturday afternoon at the shops – and then of course, there’s this aspect.

Then the real kicker is Mars (aggression, anger, energy, drive) square Pluto (hidden secrets, power, control, taboo). You could be boxed into a very uncomfortable corner, made to agree to something not in your favour or bullied in a thoroughly unpleasant confrontation.

Since shop assistants aren’t allowed to carry on like this, your weekend could go like this: You want to go shopping for something/anything, so you buy something useless, flimsy, or unreliable, and then you get into a big fight about your spending habits which you’ve been trying to avoid or they finally discover your credit card statement. Or something similar.

This might be one weekend not to go shopping…

Who makes you feel like it was all worth it when you give them a gift? It’s not every Sun sign!

As you may have realised from the previous post, some people are just not that great at accepting (let alone selecting) gifts. Again, there are some planetary signs, houses and aspects that will make some people the chosen gift-givers in your family, circle of friends and at work.

Those who should be made Master/Mistress of Gift Ceremonies are typically those with a strong Venus conjunct/sextile/trine/oppose Ascendant aspect. Venus rules love, beauty and ornaments (ie gifts) while the Ascendant is your public persona. With a lovely planetary combination like this, it is very important to this bunch that they choose something that would delight you when it’s their turn, but equally, that they show grace, charm and tact when accepting your gift (even if it’s soap-on-a-rope).

In a similar vein, those with Moon (feelings, perceptions, intuition) conjunct/sextile/trine Venus and/or Neptune makes them highly sensitive (in a good way) to your feelings. They wouldn’t want you to feel bad byseeming ungrateful – even if you gave them a tasteless, cheap, inappropriate present. YOUR feelings are actually more important. This is also true of those with Moon or Venus in the seventh house of relationships. They just want a general atmosphere of loveliness.

Those with a fun-loving Jupiter in the second or fifth house, and/or Taurus or Leo, and/or in good aspect (conjunct/sextile/trine ) to Venus, are very generous – in spirit and wallet – whether they are the gift-giver or recipient. They usually look forward to spending money and spoiling those they love. Your joy is their “payment”. They equally know how to laugh off (nicely) ridiculous items, turning it into a little joke after the event.

You might not know whether a Scorpio really likes the gift you gave him – their poker faces give nothing away. However, if you’re stumped what to get someone else, your Scorpio will be able to put you on the right track. They listen, listen, listen (in a different way from the Librans) and notice everything. Something that was mentioned years ago will mysteriously be presented on the Big Day.

Cancers, Librans and Pisceans are enormously sentimental and will keep their gifts, cards and wrapping paper as if to keep the gift experience alive. They – more than any other Sun sign – really mean it when they say it’s the thought that counts. If your gift somehow includes them – a photo, a meal etc – or something that they can keep forever to remind them of you, they’ll be utterly touched.

Genetically blessed pair, supermodel Gisele Bundchen and footy player Tom Brady are getting married for the second time in as many months with a two-day wedding celebration in Costa Packet (sorry, Costa Rica) this weekend.

Gisele has Venus (love, beauty) opposite Neptune (glamour, photography, illusions) so she can be a bit of a romance junkie but she’s no fool for love, with Venus square Saturn, pointing to some tough relationship experiences.

But perhaps she should have left well-enough alone with their first wedding date.

This Saturday’s wedding date features a retrograde transiting Venus in Aries opposite her natal Mars in Libra (which suggests relationship issues over jealousy, flirting etc will be a regular theme) and the transiting Mars in Pisces in her second house of income opposite her natal Jupiter in Virgo in her solar eighth house of shared resources suggests squabbles over excessive spending as a couple. Someone  may be waaaaaay too enthusiastic about dipping into their joint bank accounts.

Gifts and inheritances – as well as deceased estates -  attract capital gains tax in Australia. and death duties in other countries.

I was thinking about Australian businessman James Packer who inherited the very weighty gift of a multi-billion-dollar estate by his father, the late Kerry Packer when he died on Boxing Day, 2006.

Like other mutable signs this year (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces) born in 8-18 March, June, September or December,  Virgo James is being affected by the Saturn in Virgo-Uranus in Pisces opposition. Unlike other signs, he also has a lot more to lose – billions, in fact.

On Today Tonight, they profiled the progress of his Crown Casino in Macau, and his yet-to-be-finalised City of Dreams Casino opposite. It seems the only thing that is being hammered is his super-sized wallet. Building has paused thanks to the global financial crisis, and China is cracking down on the exit of funds from its banks.

James has natal Jupiter (fun, generosity, enthusiasm) in Leo (love, children, recreation and gambling). He is a generous-spirited man who really puts his heart into his pet projects. While he is not a actual gambler like his famous Sagittarian Dad, he IS gambling on the casino being a huge financial success.

In February, transiting Neptune (illusions, glamour and addictions) opposed his natal Jupiter suggesting there are elements to his massive casino project that he’s not aware of. In mid-April, his natal Jupiter will oppose transiting Jupiter in Aquarius. Jupiter rarely knows when to say no and stop which suggests his exuberance for the project may get him in trouble.  He could easily “go for broke”.

Also in February, his natal Pluto (power, obsessions, taboos) conjuncted with transiting Saturn (the stern school principal/cop/grumpy grandfather of the zodiac). It’s likely people behind the scenes were warning him to stop or at least reduce his expansion plans (or were secretly undermining his ability to succeed). As Saturn is retrograde until 19 May, he can ”look forward to” a re-run of this in August when Saturn has retraced its steps.

This month, James is also currently being hammered by transiting Saturn in Virgo conjuncting his natal Sun (a prime time when everyone wags their finger at you disapprovingly),  and Uranus in Pisces opposing his ntal Sun (making him incredibly impatient to be independent and blast his own course).

It’s hard enough right now to be a mid-month-born mutable sign, feeling frustrated or disappointed thanks to the lingering Saturn-Uranus opposition effect, but when you’re a famous figure like him with all the world able to see and judge your mistakes, my bet is he cannot WAIT for 2009 to be over.