When Miranda Hobbes in Sex And The City goes shopping for a Halloween outfit with Carrie, she exclaims, “There’s only two types of outfits for women: witch or sex kitten.”

In what is no coincidence, Halloween occurs during the Sun in Scorpio period. Many Scorpio women do delight in being a kind of witch, seeing the unseen that others miss - such as through astrology, numerology, psychology, even witchcraft if it’ll get her what she wants - and when she’s swings over to her sex kitten role, she’s rather fond of biology, too (hee hee)!

Scorpio men and women love to know what makes people tick - but they  don’t always want you to know what’s going on with them! You are either in their Inner Circle (one or two best friends, certain family members plus their partner) or you are not. If not, this is the one sign who couldn’t care less if you don’t give them a gift, or even wish them happy birthday on the day. If you do, these paranoid androids wonder what you want from them…

But even if you are in the inner circle of intimates (they take soooooo long to trust people completely), they’ll then analyse what the gift you gave them really means! Both sexes have something they’re completely passionate (ie obsessive) about. If you know your Scorpio you’ll know what that topic is, so they appreciate your gestures towards supporting their hobby (yes, it’s usually sex but something else as well).

You also get points for getting them anything that’s a little bit contraband or requires you to know someone who knows someone to get it. They can’t bear it when people pry into their affairs so if you give them one of those prepaid Visa gift cards, they can happily use it (on God knows what) knowing that you’ll be none the wiser on what they bought.

Scorpio men like books/DVDs with plenty of raunchy sex in it – they typically love James Bond (although he’s now a bit soft, only sleeping with a couple of women per story compared to Sean Connery’s heydays) – and unauthorised biographies (they have more dirt, see) on powerful people, especially billionaires, powerful criminals, sleazy politicians and influential rock stars.

Scorpio women appeciate stuff which highlights their sex appeal. It could be a sultry new perfume, killer pair of heels or some erotic underwear that’s probably best not hung out on the clothesline.

If you’re surprising your partner on a romantic weekend away, make sure it’s an adults-only resort. In fact, anything adults-only is just about right…

If you’ve ever had the horrible realisation that it’s someone’s birthday (or eeek! your anniversary) and you’ve somehow forgotten it, it’s hard to make them feel like you’ve been thinking about them.

Which is where electronic gift certificates come in. Apparently they do a roaring trade for people hopeless at remembering birthdays and anniversaries (ie men) – and for those who’ve cut it too fine to send them something to arrive in time for their birthday, anniversary, Christmas or whatever.

I thought of it because um, I too have to get something organised for my stepmother’s birthday tomorrow. So while I’m hunting for a nice plant nursery that offers electronic gift certificates (surprisingly hard, by the way!), you might have other types of gifts in mind.

So here’s 10 interesting websites that have electronic gift certificates if you have to absolutely, must get it there today!

1. Is your favourite student or frazzled friend about to escape overseas somewhere? Bed & breakfast gift certificates might come in handy…

2 & 3. Do they love chocolates and lollies? You’ll get hungry checking out Groovy Candies - while every day is Oktoberfest at German Deli…

4. Afraid of getting her the wrong lingerie? She can slip into something very comfortable with Bare Necessities.

5. If you think they’ll hang up when they get your electronic gift certificate, you might be right – hang up some art, that is…

6. Will they suspect something fishy is going on? Hook them with this unusual gift certificate.

7. Instead of A Night at the Museum for your favourite culture vulture, give ‘em a gift certificate to go shop there!

8 & 9. Does he love his rugby - or is he a huntin’/fishing/shootin’/campin’  type of man? Search no longer!

10. And finally, the Wax Depot (no, it’s not a beauty salon offering to rip out the hairs on your legs – or elsewhere), is a great same-day gift option for those who love their cars!

If you know – or represent – a gift website, how does it celebrate its anniversary with customers?

Do you offer free shipping? Two-for-one deals? Dollars or percentages off to match your birthday ie 15% off if your business is 15 years old?

I’m compiling a list of special offers provided by gift etailers for a special blog post - and I’d love to hear from you!

Ah, you gotta make these guys feel special! They’re much too polite to say so (actually, they’re usually just much too polite for their own good), but they die a little inside if you don’t make them feel loved and adored!

And please don’t forget their birthday either as they’re always thinking about how to make other people feel happy, so it’s time for them to have the favour returned. Librans (and Leos, Cancer and Pisces too actually) are devastated if you overlook their Big Day. Think about signing up with a free online birthday reminder service and make sure you tick the 30-, 14- or 7-day prior reminders, too.

Libra is ruled by Venus which rules love, beauty, art, and general gorgeousness. Imagine a charming and well-mannered beauty queen and you’re getting close! Think about the type of upkeep it takes to be a beauty queen, that might give you some clues, too. Facial? Mani/pedi? Perma-tan?

Since Libra rules relationships and marriage, you can’t go wrong with something that relates to them being a couple - and even more so on improving it if they have any planets in next-door neighbour Virgo). Single Libran girls like relationship self-help books like The Rules, He’s Just Not That Into You (actually, they know who likes them, they just need help navigating the seas of singledom, especially when someone is treating them badly), Men Are From Mars (I think John Gray must be onto his tenth type in the series – Mars and Venus on a Date was the last variant I remember). Libran men pretend they don’t like those kind of books – then again, they’re the ones swiping your copy of InStyle. Which is another gift suggestion, actually.

Perhaps you could shout your favourite Libra, a classy speed-date event, an opening night at the theatre, art gallery, ritzy musical or dinner at a three-chef hat restaurant so they can dress up.

They lurrrve clothes, jewellery, shoes and accessories (and that’s just the men). Anything from a clothing store gift certificate to an open cheque to spend breakfast at Tiffany’s would be great. What about giving them a stylist to help them chujz up their wardrobe for summer?

Still no clue? Both sexes love flowers and are often a little overcome at the sight of a stunning bouquet heading their way. Can you get a courier to deliver something to them in person or at least to their desk so everyone else oohs and ahhs at what they’ve been given?

And don’t forget the greeting card to go with your expertly wrapped present (spend extra and get it done properly). I’m thinking a mushy Hallmark one with flowers on it – not one of those cheap jokey cartoon ones that tease people about their age. No, my dear, that really will Not Do.

Ever forgotten an important birthday? Eeek – embarrassing, isn’t it?!

If you tend to forget people’s birthday – or worse, don’t know them – you might want to sign up with a free reminder service, such as Birthday-Reminders.com.

You can set your preferences to receive an email reminder 30 days, 14 days, 7 days or 3 days beforehand, (and if available, a reminder via SMS, too) which gives you enough to organise a birthday gift  - as well as another nudge on the morning of the actual birthday. You can also opt to send snail mail birthday gift cards or email ones and check out their suggested birthday gift ideas based on your recipient’s relationship to you, age group and gender.

It helps you create a simple email request asking people for their birthdays which, once they answer with their dates, will be added to your account. It is amazing – although not surprising – how thrilled people are when you remember their birthday! And it’s this time of year which is traditionally the busiest for birthdays – don’t forget one by mistake!

If your favourite Virgo is celebrating his or her birthday, I hope you’ve marked it in your diary/Outlook calendar, have left enough time to get their present there on time AND call them on the day. Well, they would do it for you! Most Virgos have an amazing memory and mentally file away everyone’s birthdays, anniversaries etc so they can deliver a gift on YOUR day. You might be surprised to know that they’re secretly wounded by people forgetting their birthday and quietly, desperately need you to prove that they’re special.

So, what to get them? One of the nicest things you can give them is a break from the housework that they tend to feel overwhelmed by. When too much is going on in their lives – and it has been thanks to Saturn in Virgo putting immense pressure on them since August 2007 not to mention Uranus in Pisces freaking them right out with undependable partners – they tend to clean, polish, sweep, vacuum, scrub, and wash etc to get some sense of order back. So as you might imagine, they have been cleaning up a storm for a couple of years…Give them a well-deserved break.

They also love a good de-cluttering. They have Pisces on the seventh house of relationships which can make them hate to throw things away that their loved ones have given them and have Sagittarius on the fourth house of home and family which suggests they live with complete grots (sorry, disorganised people). Call in the professional organisers – it will make them silly with happiness!

Saturn in your own sign is, shall we say, a little heavy-going on one’s self-esteem and attitudes towards one’s looks. Is it time for a professional stylist to freshen up their look with more flattering clothes, a haircut or better make-up choices? They just lurrve those makeover shows!

Pluto in Capricorn entered their solar fifth house of love and creativity in January 2009 and will be there until 2024. Pluto rules Scorpio so anything that promotes a bit of lovin’ and kissin’ – can you babysit the kids for the weekend? – is ideal. Virgos love step-by-step manuals and since there are all sorts of interesting how-to books to do with lovemaking, this could be a a naughty thrill!

Jupiter is in Aquarius is their sixth house of work and health until January 2010. Jupiter is what you find fun. Personally I’d like to steer away the emphasis from work for Virgo - it’s waaaay too easy for them to be workaholics – so please don’t give them leather-bound diaries or desk organisers – yuck! Springing for some new bookshelves for their home office - the Expedit ones from IKEA are very popular – might be OK, as might picking up a cute little handbag-sized laptop for them.

Or let’s consider the health side of things. Perhaps you could spring for a personal trainer, a new gym membership, some cute workout clothes, the Low GI Diet book, a delivery of fresh fruit and vegies, or at least a good, deep Swedish massage. The sixth house also rules pets. Have they been pressing their nose up against the puppies’ window at the local pet store or RSPCA? If a little doggie or kitty-kat could fit into their lifestyle, a pet could make a wonderful surprise gift.

Books are also pretty well-received. Since they love to know how things work and what makes people tick, why not check out the latest round of self-help/inspirational books?

While 8 in 10 people have taken part in a group gift - most commonly for baby gifts – it can be a hard ask organising the money if you don’t all live in the same city. Someone usually has to shell out the full amount on their credit card (or pay for it from their savings account via Paypal if they get the option) and then have to contact all the people concerned to get reimbursed in slow dribs and drabs.

A new website called eDivvy is making it easy for far-flung friends and family to put in for a group gift that’s really special. It suggests baby showers, back-to-school (you never know, some families might need help buying a laptop for junior), housewarmings, birthdays and weddings but of course you could also use it to organise a farewell gift for an office colleague, money for a honeymoon or long-awaited anniversary mini-break, or maybe even as a whiparound for someone who’s really down on their luck.

You simply enter the eDivvy number – that is, the number of people going in on the gift – and see what your share is. No need to break out the scientific calculator! You don’t actually have to contribute the set amount but it does make it fairer. It seems to have a default of “10″ but it is amazing how affordable someone’s gift can be when 10 people (or at least more than 2) are sharing the cost. And if your fellow gift-givers don’t quite cough up the amount needed, the recipient receives a Visa gift card for that amount.

If you’re thinking of buying someone a vaguely techie gift for their birthday (or even putting something away for them for Christmas), please don’t buy it during Mercury retrograde!

Mercury retrograde happens about three times a year for three weeks each time. Mercury rules communication and transport so when you buy items that have some technical aspect to them, it’s more than likely you need to get them repaired or refunded. Mercury affects PDAs, Blackberries, Bluetooths, iPods, mobiles, laptops, desktops, hard drives, scanners, printers, fax machines – almost anything that has a chip in it.

And if you buy something during Mercury retrograde, you’ll probably get a chip too, on your shoulder! Mercury retrograde purchases can turn out to be lemons, having missing components, incomplete instructions (oh, for God’s sake, don’t start putting something together from Ikea, you’ll get divorced!), items that you almost immediately lose or break, or which are just the Wrong Thing Entirely.

If it’s not the product itself, when you shop you can mishear what the salesperson quoted (“That’s $1,100 – not $700, Madam”) or buy the wrong size or colour (my friend Jane’s husband Jim is colourblind so he’s banned from shopping for clothes for the kids, Jane and himself).

If you go online shopping you must double-check everything! You could enter and pay for the wrong item/size/colour, select the wrong shipping option, postcode or misspell your email address – which is even worse if you’re buying someone an electronic gift certificate.

Mercury retrograde next happens from 6-29 September 2009, 26 December-15 January 2010, and then from 17 April-11 May 2010.

Ifyou have to buy gifts for an anniversary, birthday, christening, Christmas, engagement, Fathers Day (6 September for Australia, New Zealand, Fiji and PNG), Mothers Day (for most countries, 9 May 2010), new baby or wedding, either buy the gifts well head of those dates or give them an IOU for a belated gift so they don’t get a techie “turkey”. If there’s one time you just gotta keep that receipt, Mercury retrograde is it!

One of the more intriguing offers I’ve seen is this wonderful win-win idea to help charities benefit from people giving their time and to help fill hotels which are still suffering thanks to the GFC.

Donate 8 hours (one day) of your valuable time to community service and you can receive a complimentary night (or 50% off) your room at 53 Sage hotels across the US. Some of these hotels under the Sage banner include Marriott, Sheraton, and the Hilton Garden Inn.

The charity needs to be a registered 501(c)3 non profit organization but hey – a free night! That could be great as as add-on or as part of a special anniversary, birthday or engagement gift.

The offer ends 20 December 2009.

Not every Sun sign is gleeful at getting a silly gag gift for their birthday, some are downright disappointed and disgusted that you could get it so wrong!

Aries have a very healthy ego so while they hate to be made to look stoopid, they (and Leos) do like to be seen as heroes. A fake Oscar-type statue for the “Best…” would appeal as would superhero outfits, James Bond type gadgets and stuff that appeals to the child in them.

Taureans lurrve food and this is one area where you could have fun (with them). They have an “earthy” approach to life so if you combine one of their favourite foods – chocolate – in the shape of their favourite umm, bodily organs, you could be onto a winner. Libras would be quietly appalled, however.

Geminis and Sagittarians have low attention spans and love silly, frankly childish birthday gifts, especially ones which startle others, eg whoopee cushions, stink bombs etc.

Cancerians are most likely to be very upset if it’s tasteless as they’re such sensitive little souls, but don’t mind gentle humour, especially if it’s got a cute connection with home and family. Fridge stickers, embroidered pillows with cute sayings are well-received.

Neither Virgos nor Capricorns are famous for slapping their thighs upon receiving gag gifts, unfortunately. Since they’re so work-obsessed, office gags can amuse Virgos (slightly). Money-related gags can sometimes tickle Capricornian funny bones, but only if they’ve got a couple of Sagittarius planets in their chart!

Librans are completely freaked out by fake vomit, replica poo and so on (whereas that doesn’t faze the Scorpios one bit). If it’s a gag, it has to be tasteful. Hard, I know! Scorpios also like rather naughty, sexy gag gifts as they like being seen as complete sex maniacs.

Aquarians love electronic gizmos and things that shock others. Anything faintly Star Trek-y or out of this world or that appeals to their love of humanity could work.

Pisces swing from extreme bad taste to high ‘n’ mighty puritanicalism. It depends on their mood. Since they’re famed for their uh, drinking, gags which celebrate this particular vice can amuse them. Pisces also rules illusion, so magic tricks can work their ahem, magic, too.