Movies and TV shows nearly always depict marital breakdown as the result of conflict. Steamy extra-marital affairs and the resulting tearful confrontations, hurled crockery and melodramatically smashed wedding portraits are typical scenes.
But a new US study suggests that marriage breakdown is more likely due to simple, long-term boredom. (Just one factor is giving @#$* flowers every Valentine’s Day, or socks and jocks for Father’s Day or “forgetting” their birthday - I mean, come on!)
The findings are the result of a nine-year study by researchers at the University of Michigan and Stony Brook University, who conducted interviews with 123 couples in the seventh year of their marriages, then nine years later in year 16.
The researchers found that relationship quality over the long-term depended on how bored the couple was at year seven.
However, not being bored at the seven-year mark didn’t necessarily guarantee that boredom wouldn’t occur some time over the following nine years. This suggests what any successfully married long-term couple could tell you: keeping boredom out of a marriage is something that requires constant vigilance.
The couples, all in their first marriages, were asked whether they considered their marriages to be in a rut and how often they did exciting things together as a couple. Those who expressed greater dissatisfaction in year 16 also reported corresponding higher levels of boredom.
The researchers concluded that couples who were experiencing less and less satisfaction with their marriages over time could possibly reverse the situation by participating in exciting activities together to increase the general level of excitement and spontaneity and eliminate boredom, which undermines closeness.
In a couple’s astrological compatibility chart, the level of excitement your relationship enjoys can be indicated by a few astrological factors.
Too many aspects involving Saturn indicate you can easily get stuck in a rut from complacency, fear (“what would the neighbours think?!”) and lack of imagination. Since Saturn is all about accountability (amongst other things) you could view doing exciting new things as KPIs to be met. An overabundance of Moon aspects suggests you want to curl up at home, which is cosy, but rarely exciting. Well, everyone goes a little crazy at the Full Moon – so once a month, make use of it!
Jupiter aspects add joy. The house your Jupiter is in your partner’s chart, and vice versa, shows where you can have fun and laugh with each other. Mars aspects create energy and sexual tension. It’s well-known that going on a rollercoaster (or any other activity which raises your adrenalin levels) ripens the mood for romance – “ahh, hold me!”
For pure excitement you need to look to the planet of rebellion, Uranus (yeah, alright, stop the jokes already) which rules shocks, surprises and revolutions.
Having a number of Uranian aspects in your compatibility chart provides the electricity every couple needs. Uranus doesn’t care what the neighbours think and prefers to be an individual. Being innovative is key. A number of Uranian aspects suggest you will have temporary separations, probably due to work, family or social commitments. But hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? With Uranus you never get bored. Freaked-out, maybe.
How can you surprise your partner?